I just want to make it clear that this isn't a blog. It is website for people to find out the truth about the world because I usually forget to call, email, and facebook message people back when they try to talk to me. And how can you all learn the truth about things if I forget to call you back and remind you that Crocs are NOT shoes, but actually rubber sock/bucket type things that happen to be shaped like clogs?
My friends keep posting things strange things on my fb wall that lead me to believe that I might be an international spy and not know it. So, along with being all informative on important subjects like what is footwear and what isn't, I should probably say this:
I am not, in fact, Carmen Sandiego. I wish I had a cool hat like her, and a trenchcoat, and I'd actually be very interested in solving mysteries and/or being a gumshoe if either of those pay well. Or at all...
[WAIT I just remembered that the point of "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego" is to FIND Ms. Sandiego, when she's like meeting with Crime Bosses in Buenos Aires and Oslo and stuff...so that would make her a fugitive, or maybe an International Woman of Mystery and NOT a spy. I think. Unless she's a spy and gumshoes are the detectives trying to prove she's a spy. OR unless spies are the same thing as International People of Mystery. Also, what the hell kind of last name is Sandiego? Can I start calling myself Claire Losangeles? Are cities in California good names for international people of mystery?]
...but right, I am not a spy, nor am I a gumshoe, or even very mysterious. I am forgetful, though, and organizationally challenged at times. Sometimes I step in mysterious things that might be gum. And I like shoes. Spying would be fun, I think, but I am probably not quiet enough to be a spy.
Right now, I am at Ma and David's, in D.C.. Tomorrow, I will go back to Chicago, and then next week to Cincinnati for good old Schulman Christmas. And then I'll go back to Chicago, for New Years and some other stuff, and then back to DC on January 7 and then I go to Tel Aviv on January 11th.
My not-so-mysterious whereabouts in the past few months have been: Ohio, Illinois, a little bit of New York, and Alyse-Lacey-and-Ruth's in Colorado (plus I was in Nebraska and Iowa on the way to and from Colorado, but I'll spare you the boring non-details of those rides...). Most of the places I have been staying since I got back from Mexico in June involved family and/or Ohio and/or my wonderful Green Camry. I am not bothering to include all the places I visited while getting lost.
Also, I read The Great Gatsby and Crime and Punishment, and I watched a boatload of Top Chef. I am all about dinosaurs and I still love nachos.
Things I have not done and places I have not been in the last few months include:
getting paid, having decent health insurance, California, writing novels, catching up on America's Next Top Model, watching/reading things about vampires, remembering to call my grandma, getting a tattoo reminding me to call my grandma, buying socks, eating meat, calling various friends on their birthdays
I am posting this picture of an iguana we happened to find in Mexico. He'd been in a fight and had part of his tail taken off and I don't think you can tell in this picture, but the inside of his tail looked EXACTLY like the cables that go from the cable box to my TV.
